Why Time Traveling is Inadvisable
by Lucillia
Summary: Naruto and Sasuke decide to combine the Oiroke Jutsu and Time Travel to pull a prank on their previous incarnations. It backfires. Spectacularly.


"Only you would find a way to combine your Sexy Jutsu with Time Travel just to pull a prank Naruto." Sasuke said uncomfortably aware of the strange objects on his chest that were impeding certain arm movements, and the lower center of gravity that he was forced to compensate for.

It was at that point that the targets of said prank found them, Senju Hashirama having apparently sensed his and Madara's Chakra where they weren't and having gotten curious. Madara seemed to have been literally dragged along for the ride.

"Let me do the talking Sasuke." Naruto, who was obviously far more comfortable with the Oiroke Jutsu, whispered to his friend before sashaying up to the two.

What followed was an explanation of the Sage of the Six Paths, his two sons, and what happened to said sons after they died that was narrated by Naruto and punctuated with the occasional comment from Sasuke.

"And, so, you're our next incarnations?" Hashirama asked, seeking confirmation.

"Yep!" Naruto and Sasuke chorused, going into sexy poses that caused Madara to jet off from the power of his nosebleed.

"Well, okay then." Hashirama said, not looking the least bit put out by this "revelation".

"You're fine with it?!" Naruto exclaimed, looking surprised.

"I can tell that I'll be incredibly strong in the future, won't turn evil, and Madara and I will still be friends. So, why shouldn't I be okay with it?" Hashirama replied, looking honestly and truly okay with the concept of being born female and growing up to be a blonde woman with massive tits.

"What about you?" Sasuke asked the just-returned Madara, hoping to salvage some of his dignity by getting the expected reaction that was the whole point of this prank in the first place.

"Why should I complain? I'll be able to play with these babies any time I want to!" Madara said with a lecherous grin as he gave Sasuke's breasts a testing squeeze.

Hashirama looked somewhat uncomfortable with Madara's manhandling of Sasuke. Madara pointed out that it was essentially him in a few (dozen) years. Hashirama decided to let the matter drop with a "Well, can you please at least not do that sort of thing in _public_."

Naruto, having noticed Sasuke's extreme discomfort and given the prank up for a lost cause, suddenly decided that there was a time-limit on the Time Travel Seal that supposedly only ended when both he and Sasuke reversed it, and that time was almost up.

"Well, that explains why Alternate You who lived in a Konoha where there was no Massacre chased after anything he suspected might be female." Naruto grumbled when Hashirama and Madara had finished saying their farewells to the two time travelers, Madara's being far more handsy than Sasuke was comfortable with, and left.

The two got back and, since they were Kage Bunshin rather than the actual Sasuke and Naruto because time had elapsed that one time Naruto went time travelling when he was a teenager and both Sasuke and Naruto were needed in their own time, Sasuke and Naruto dispelled themselves. Considering how late it was, the two figured that their originals would keep sleeping and meet up when they got up in the morning.

* * *

Sasuke grumbled as someone knocked insistently on his door. From the looks of things, his wife was already awake and out of bed. Oddly, he couldn't smell breakfast.

"Come on!" Sakura's voice called from the other side of the door, which was strange considering the fact that his wife could've just reached over and shaken him if she'd wanted to wake him.

"Get up! You'll be late for work!"

Sighing, Sasuke got out of bed and nearly fell over when he realized that he was still in his Sexy Jutsu form for some strange reason. He casually dispelled the jutsu.

Nothing happened.

"I know you're awake! I can hear you moving around in there!"

He tried again.

Nothing. He was still the spitting image of his mother, aside from the larger breasts, figurewise and the long spiky hair that fell nearly to his knees didn't go anywhere.

Figuring that this had to be a Genjutsu, he tried disrupting his Chakra. When that didn't work, he tried the pain method, resulting in nothing more than a bit of pain. His body was completely unchanged from its feminine form.

"Mito! You had _better_ not be doing what I think you're doing!"

"Who's Mito?" Sasuke asked, though he strongly suspected he knew the answer.

"Ha ha, very funny Mito." Sakura snapped from the other side of the door.

"No, seriously, who's Mito?" Sasuke asked, already knowing and dreading the answer.

The door slammed open at this question and Sakura entered the room.

"I honestly don't know why we're still friends considering all the hell you've put me through!" the pink-haired woman snapped as she went over to the closet and started pulling out women's clothing that bore the Uchiha family crest. Women's clothing that didn't belong to Sakura and came in colors that Sasuke normally wore.

As Sasuke stared down at the clothes, all the pieces that he'd been categorically refusing to put together slotted into place against his will.

"Naruto! I'm going to KILL you!"

 **Omake:**

The root that tethered Madara to the tree that kept him alive was severed. Madara was finally dying. As Madara breathed his last, Obito could've sworn he'd heard the incredibly ancient old man say "Bring on the boobies!".

Obito didn't want to know. He really, really, really didn't want to know.


End file.
